Great. Mickey Mouse and the Disney corporation continue to bend us over the hood of their metaphorical Camero, this time by buying out comics giant Marvel for the staggering sum of four billion dollars. Meanwhile, my offer of ten dollars for my (mysteriously stained) 1983 copy of Heavy Metal. Now, Disney is known for acquiring things. They already own ESPN, The Muppets, and the entire ABC television station (fact!). So why does this hurt even more? Because Disney doesn’t so much leave things alone as it does corner them and cause them to shit out all of what makes them themselves.

How could I NOT collect all this info here? I’ve been hit with a flurry of news on this topic in the last 10 minutes and wishing some of the cool stuff was all in ONE place. So here it is, the short of it is that Disney has acquired Marvel Comics and its portfolio of 5000 characters for $4 billion buckaroos by the end of the calendar year. The acquisition highlights from the press release: Disney’s strategic focus on quality branded content, technological innovation and international expansion to build long-term shareholder value.

It all sounds like madness on the surface because, if you’re like me, it’s initially hard to NOT connect Mickey and crew with the grim-and-gritty world of the Marvel Universe. It’s hard to picture a world where Disney doesn’t force Marvel stories to tone down on the violence and turn out more child-friendly comics. One the plus side, this brings new readers into comics, right? If ANYONE can create leverage when it comes to targeting children, it’s Disney… right?

I’m not sure why I’m still mildly weirded out though. Disney wants to provide Marvel properties a broader audience reach.