Here at TPG, we generally base our verdict entirely on a game’s title. The text is then generated by taking a Spanish-language review, converting it to English via Google’s translator, and then running it through Word’s auto-summarize feature for good measure before stamping our name on it. Based on that criteria, a game called Space Bikers should get a “buy it” verdict followed by a resounding ¡muy bueno! In an event that will later prove to have your wallet thanking me, and my brain committing seppuku, I was possessed to actually play a game I had been assigned to review. In doing so, I discovered exactly what it takes to make 99 cents feel like a waste of money.Space Bikers revolves around the lives of three tiny aliens who crash-land on earth and must pull together to repair their ship to return home. What follows is a tale of intrigue and suspense, tying your heartstrings in a knot before moving on to other emotional metaphors. And by that I mean it’s a 2-d platformer. Not in space; not racing.